whatever

so i feel like i need to say something before i go to bed tonight. i don't know what exactly, but something. i met two awesome chicks today. they live in d.c. and i was there for work. hopefully we'll keep in touch. i danced with a ballroom dance instructor and the cutest little old man with parkinson's. i was visiting an assisted living center there and i joined in on the ballroom dance activity. a large group of elders showed up to participate, and they just loved to dance to the music. the instructor even danced with the wheelchair residents, twirling them around on the floor. oh, the little things....

i think i've figured out why i have such a bad case of the lonliness blues. i was talking with an old friend tonight about relationships and why we can't seem to make them work, and why or how they end. he said that it was hard for him to get over his ex because everything they had together was still there. i mean, she's the one that moved out and made a new start- a new apartment, new furniture, new shit, whatever. he stayed- stayed in the house and everyday he saw all the things that they had together, did together, the memories of spaces and places where they sat together, talked together. you know what i mean. all those things are still here, in my house to remind me, too. and when i sit down at the table, the couch, the front porch- i'm always reminded, and get mad for missing him. i'd like to be over it, and i'd like to move on without any thoughts of him. but it is hard, and denying that is a big fat lie. yes, he was an asshole. but it's his presence i miss- the companionship. the routine. anyway, tell me to get over it again.

ok, i swear i'm going to bed. i'll dream about the wonderful world of work tomorrow and punching the 8 hour clock. sweet dreams, my bloggy readers.