Confession

"Blogger, it's been 1 month since my last confession."

- Go on, my dear.

"I've been seeing my roommate. I seem to have lost my life."


Well, what can I say. I have not only been M.I.A. to my friends, but also to my emails and my beloved blog. I am shamed. I sit here before you with my head down, drowning in a sea of manure and guilt. What is that smell? Is it me??

Somewhere in between poaching eggs and rock climbing, I've fallen into a romantic relationship with my roomie. It all happened so fast, that the 4 eggs we poached that night are still in the fridge, rotting. Just kidding. But seriously, my mind has been everywhere else but in my head. Making this thing work has consumed every ounce of my being, and although quite uneventful, pretty boring, and sexless, I need my life back. Where have I been?

I was having a hard enough time keeping my shit together lonely and sober, but now with man and happy (sometimes), I'm losing touch with my friends and not paying my bills. And it finally hit me. Tonight. This isn't working. The roommate relationship. And not because he's my roommate, but because we're just at different places in our lives. Didn't I always say I would never date a younger man?? Someone validate this!

This thing I had with Rawboy was great. Don't get me wrong. When he wants to be sweet, he's really sweet. He's easy to live with, he's clean, he cooks breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We drink wine and share good beer. I enjoy his company. Before his arrival, I had to live alone. Now I can't imagine him gone. However, loving him or him loving me is not part of our equation. We tried. I tried. And it was good while it lasted. But his inability to love and this great lack of sunshine is too big a threat and we can't survive. Oh, Shakespeare, where the hell art thou? A poem, yes- I am inspired.

I need more and he needs the sun.
He needs someone who doesn't need him to care.
My desire for commitment makes him want to run.
Now I'm suffocating, my mind needs some air!

Alas, I only strive to be like one of the greats, like Robert Frost or Weird Al. Nevermind.


With respect to Rawboy's privacy, I'm withholding the details. But I hope you all get the picture. Now we just have to figure out how to go back to roommates, how not to stare too long, how not to think about his arms or his lips. Ugh, this sucks. But we have learned alot from each other and I hope we can accept and move on. (Preface to my next post.) I am tired, friends... Goodnight.