should i have capitalized "christ?" jesus. i have found that i can't enjoy my weekends because of my inability to sit back, relax, and enjoy the moment. i spend all weekend dreading the dawn of monday, the beginning of a new work-week, and that 5 day daily grind of waking up at the crack of 6:45, throwing the kid on the bus, then angriliy moping to the shower to get ready for work. and work. i admit it. i just don't wanna friggin work. and if i do, it's gotta be on MY terms. not someone else's. how the hell do i do that? the smart ones planned this way in advance, and work for themselves. i need to sleep late to survive. period.
so, hence the title "living in the now." i could spend 14 hours in a barnes and noble looking for the answer to my question. or i could ask a friend. or better yet, a friend who does YOGA! yeah! those guys know all the answers. there's a reason why yoga instructors are so damn calm and laid back. i'm in the wrong field. my new plan is to practice touching my toes without bending my knees, then raising my arms straight in the air without bending my elbows, then sitting on the floor and pulling my legs behind my head, over my shoulders, and placing them on the floor behind me, all the while keeping my fat ass firmly planted on the ground. then the answer may come to me. it must be hidden way down in the tissue of my tight ass muscles.
so you can't change the past and you can't change the future. you can only act upon the present. and freaking out, losing your breath, and stressing over tomorrow is pointless. right?? easier said than done. is there a pill out there that stops future thoughts? or present ones?
allah, budda, britney- i need your help. help me to stop obsessing over my crappy job and mondays. help me to enjoy today, or at least my two days off per week. and help me to be jobless, live on the beach, and sleep in.
until next weekend,
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