Time for Change

JESUS. It's time for change. I am not only speaking for myself, but for all of you as well. The weather is getting warmer now, and Richmond's long, miserable, sunless winter is finally over. No more excuses- let's all make a change. I feel like I'm not alone here, like most of you have something that needs to change. I do.

First, I need to apologize for not giving my loyal fans something to read every night. I have been unmotivated and maybe a little depressed, although I don't like that word. People tend to judge you when identifying your "down time" as depression. I have just been preoccupied, sick (literally) and tired. I finally gave in and went to Patient First, the 7-11 of medical facilities. I need a t-shirt that reads, "I went to Patient First and all I got was this lousy antibiotic." I wanted more from the doc. I wanted Lunesta and Xanax. I wanted morphine. Give me the real shit, doc. I have a high tolerance.

So, I'm waiting it out. Still coughing up a lung. I swear when this goes away, I'll hit the gym hard. Right??

For those of you interested in my love life, Rawboy is moving out. It is a mutual decision, and it didn't come easy. I think we were both in denial about the reasons why this isn't working, and that's ok. That's normal. Who doesn't want to be loved? We help each other, but hurt each other more. So it's for the best. The date of departure is July 1. I will do my best to keep you informed of the tumultuous days ahead, although I'm hoping for sunshine and clear skies. I would like to end this cohabitation on good terms. I feel like a teacher who's attached to her student. It will be hard to see him go, and this house will be quiet and I will be lonely again. I may also starve, considering Rawboy did most- (who am I kidding?) ALL of the cooking. The fridge will be empty and the ear-piercing, sometimes unbearable sound of Opera will no longer fill the kitchen air while Rawboy does the dishes. My washing machine may not break afterall, once he stops squishing in his over-sized comforter. The water bill will go back down to a reasonable amount because he will no longer add 30 minute showers to my daily routine. The absence of the juicer will add 23 more square feet to the counter space, but will probably be replaced with nothing. And who will walk my dog? Poor dog. Mommy likes to sleep in.

Well, my faithful friends, all things must come to an end. But I'd like to think it's a new beginning for me, and I'll take what I've learned and go to the next can't-love-due-to-childhood-hurts relationship. We'll see. In the meantime, I need to give back to my girlfriends who have helped, coached, and cared along the way. They have missed me.

My Patient First meds have kicked in and I must go to sleep now. Until next time....